3 Steps Towards a More Fulfilling Life
You’ve got to be kidding me — dating?! I’m so busy, I don’t have time to take care of myself, much less for a relationship!
If you’re a single career woman who …
Feels like an 8-hour day is a vacation because nonstop 10+ hour days are your norm
Doesn’t have a social life or meaningful relationship, even though you’d like one
Commutes to, or travels for work so much that you barely recognize your own bed …
You’d like nothing better than having someone to laugh with, cuddle up at night with, and to share your life and career success with,
I can relate and you need to know …
It IS Possible to Have Both
As a former road warrior and corporate maven, I know it takes a lot of dedication to be successful and you have every right to be proud of how much you’ve achieved in your work life.
But being successful doesn’t mean you have to forsake one area of life for another.
As a deceptively successful-on-the-outside, lonely-on-the-inside single career woman, you can have both — a successful career and a meaningful relationship.
When you’re in a demanding career you know it’s super easy to get so focused on work that there’s little time left over for anything else, especially when business travel is involved.
But having a successful relationship takes some focus too.
Finding the Right Balance
My life changed when I fell down a flight of stairs and almost broke my neck from the sheer exhaustion of a too-full plate and two cross-country back-to-back business trips (and no, I hadn’t been drinking).
Having to slow down to recuperate from my injuries began shedding some light on how I felt about the sacrifices I was making. It turned out some down time was just what I needed, and the doctor ordered — literally. He said he was worried about me because I was burned out and seemed so unhappy.
I realized being solely focused on my career was making me unhappy. Without realizing it, I was neglecting other areas of my life. And that wasn’t going to cut it anymore.
That’s when I decided to warm up my life, my heart, and my soul from the deep, deep freeze it had been in and found the balance I wanted in my career, as well as meaningful relationship.
3 Steps to a More Fulfilling Life
Hopefully you won’t have to fall down a flight of stairs or wait until you’re in dire straights to be motivated to find more balance in your career and a happy relationship.
That’s why I’m sharing three steps that got me started on a new kind of life and in the hopes they do the same for you.
1. Get Off of the Treadmill. Do you believe that if you slow down, stop, or divert your attention from your work you’re going to lose out? That’s understandable in today’s business climate where there can be intense competition. It’s easy to get into a “snooze, you lose” mentality, which keeps you running on that treadmill.
I’m not saying throw your career aside for something else, up and quit, or step into a less stressful position, just to have a relationship (although those are alternatives that may be worth exploring!).
Making money is important, especially when you’ve got a mortgage, school loans, car payments, etc.
But so is knowing why you’re doing what you’re doing and where you want to go.
“If a man knows not to which port he sails, no wind is favorable.” — Seneca the Younger
A good question to consider is: When you reach your pinnacle of success in your career, will it bring you joy?
Or will you be saying “Is this all there is?” or “I wish I would’ve” and wondering where all of the years have gone?
Success can be hollow, if in your heart of hearts, what you really want is to share your life and successes with someone and no one is there.
2. Decide to Do it Differently. Your life is the sum of all of the choices you’ve made. You are the queen, the ruler of your life.
You already know that if you put attention and effort into your career, that you’ll get results. To get results in other areas of your life — your relationships, your health, your finances, your community, and your spiritual life — you have to put attention and effort there as well.
The question is, how much?
It’s helpful to determine where your attention is right now. Then you can figure out how best to shift it. An easy to make those determinations is to use an assessment I developed. This no-cost assessment, Your Personal Assessment for Work-Life Balance Transformation, can be accessed on the first page of my website.
After you’ve seen where your focus is, it’s you’ll feel more in charge of your life.
You can decide to things differently. You can decide whether or not you want to run on the fear of having your career fame and fortune taken away, or be afraid of what “could” happen should you lessen your career focus.
Just by becoming more aware, you’re already taking the steps to make the changes that can make the life you want with someone, happen.
3. Put Your Attention on What You Really Want. A coaching client once told me, “You helped me realize I’m doing everything I don’t want to do, instead of what I really want to do.”
To begin attracting the relationship you want into your very busy life you can now consider how you’re spending your time and how you can adjust it.
For example, when I shifted to a four-day work week, I worked longer hours (but I was doing that anyway).
This tiny shift helped me stay successful in my job but made a big difference in my personal life. I found the extra day added to my weekend wasn’t taken up with exhaustion or with chores.
I actually had the time and energy I needed to be social so I could focus on relationships.
You can also get clear about the kind relationship you want. Do you want someone who will be available to spend time with you, or do you want someone who works just as much as you do, is in the same field as you, so they will understand the demands of your career? Writing in a journal about what you want can help you get really clear.
With clarity you can focus your attention and start visualizing yourself in the relationship you want. Some people do this on their own, others find it helpful to talk to a friend, or to work with a coach to consider things they may not have thought of, or to explore different options they may not see.
One way I accelerated bringing a relationship into my life (and this may not be for everyone!) was to shift the energy in my physical environment.
As I changed my work schedule and carved out more time for myself, I started doing more things that I’d always wanted to do. One of those things was to study the ancient Chinese art of placement called Feng Shui (pronounced “fung shway”).
When I looked at the Feng Shui of my apartment I saw that my physical environment was set up for a single person. I had only one chair at the kitchen table for goodness sakes! There was no space for anyone else.
I quickly removed the obstacles in my physical environment which helped me make space for someone in my life (if you’d like more information on Feng Shui and how it works contact me).
Within two months of getting clear, focused, and changing my attention and my environment, a meaningful relationship was part of my life. I was balancing and being successful at having both.
Single Career Women Deserve Love Too!
Hopefully this post has shown you that it’s possible to have a successful career and relationship too.
So what’s next?
Put your driven power of focus and attention on making it happen. Get off the treadmill, decide to do something different, and put your attention on what you really want.
After you’ve taken these three steps you will have put yourself in a place to succeed. You will have more clarity and vision about what you want. You will have more control over your life.
You will have taken steps towards your dreams and you’ll be happier and living a more balanced and fulfilled life.
I welcome your comments and/or questions.